Conversation- Candid or Critical?

 As part of the reading group, I started on with a book called Critical Conversation for Dummies. This is a book by Dr Christina Schlacter. It talks about the importance of holding critical or difficult conversations in the workplace and gives a detailed guide on how to nail it. 

As I whizzed through the book, I realised it is a reminder of the training I had at the beginning of my career. My 15 plus years of experience in the field have made me sit down for several critical conversations. Performance management, Redundancy, Layoffs, Project deadlines, I  have led all types of conversations, therefore this book was a trip down the memory lane. 

However, now when I read it my perspectives have changed. I am a mother first and then a professional which made me realize the importance of having critical conversations beyond the workplace. Thinking of what all places critical conversation hold value-

• Relationships - with Parents, Children, Partner, and of course extended families
• Social- Friends, Neighbors
• Stakeholders- Your child's school, your vendors, local authorities

Some things that I have been very helpful through my reading is

- Physical and Emotional Preparation- For any conversation to yield results, one needs to prepare the space, take out time and also be very self-aware. One needs to understand their hot buttons and also what could trigger them about the conversation.

- Aim for Win-Win Solution- It draws from the fact that win-win is possible. Most of the time we are conditioned to reach a compromise and hence all critical conversations turn into a competition, who will compromise first. However, the book emphasises opening a path that makes it possible for both parties to win. It requires work and a definite intent of reaching an agreement where both sides reach a point of an action plan that works in favour of all involved. 

-Getting everyone involved-  The idea is to identify all kinds of communications styles and help them involve in the discussion. Tweak your style to the respondents is my take away. 

We often find that we still use some of these principles in the workplace but outside of it, we tend to miss the bus. We are either hurrying or too tired and hence want or expect people in personal interactions to accept us the way we are, effortlessly. 

My experience with these principles is that once we start using them, they become who we are and make our life easier in all aspect. It is a mindset change. Try them, they work.