FACILITATING EXCELLENCE

  The first time I saw my son was on a paediatric ventilator. I knew I was supposed to feel worried, anxious, but all I was feeling was guilty, very very guilty. I had let my family down. Because of me, my son was on ventilator, if only I had done something right.  My husband was seething with anger, not a very common sight. Doctors had no idea why my son all of 48 hours would not breathe normally. and then Dr Anand came. He was HOD, Paediatrics, Mata Channan Devi Hospital. One look at my son and he said, "Main keh raha hun pneumothorax hai." and 17days later I walked out of the hospital, with my son in my arms.  Dr Anand gave me my spirit back that day.  13 years later, I am yet again doing rounds of hospitals with my son trying to figure out the reason of the limp and we meet Dr Raj Devashis Chakravarty. One look at my son and he confirms SCFE, or  Slipped capital femoral epiphysis and in next 2 months my son is operated and back on his regular routine.  ...

 Emotional Resilience is a big word, but if we were to simplify it would come down to simply developing skills that help us master our emotions better. In times of uncertainty, it will not leave us second-guessing ourselves or our way of life.  There are a lot of people navigating through this time in their own way, some are reaching out to others and others are just ensuring that survival is managed. There are some others who continue to live with their heads buried in the sand.  Each of these people has a lot at stake, their personal well being, their families, their lifestyle and their environment as they know it and they react as they know best. However, how our reactions are has a lot to do with how we manage our environment.  More often than not the two converge at a point. That point though is different for different people. For some external management takes precedence over internal management.  Mental Health Advocate and Psychiatrist, Dr Ruhi Satija, in...

Leadership is difficult, especially when the leadership is bigger than life, a person who can hold themselves together can sail through a crisis when everyone is falling apart and can navigate in the most difficult circumstances.  Leaders are born not made, this phrase almost makes everyone feel, they are not cut out for it.  However, if we look at life closely, we are all leaders in our short film- or as I always like to reiterate, we are all the heroes in our own story.   It is very important to start learning the concept of Servant Leadership from that perspective. To put it simply, it is all about putting others first or putting the need of others first.  As a Parent we put the need of our children first, as a spouse, we put the need of our better half first, as a responsible citizen, we put the need of our country or fellow citizens first. All this while taking into cognizance that it is not out of any 'sacrifice syndrome' which itself can be damaging quality fo...

 Know Your Core is all about knowing your inner self and strengthening the same. It should not come as a surprise when we claim to know ourselves. In her book about introversion, Susan Cain talks about a shift that was brought about in the early nineteenth century as industrialization became rampant in America. With Industrialization, a young boy named Dale Carnegie saw an opportunity to redefine people as they see themselves.  She mentions in her book the shift from a culture of  character, to a culture of personality, i.e. to mean we moved from inward to the outward view of ourselves. With the advance in technology and the easy access to the world at our fingertips, this took another turn. From a set of a few immediate circles validating us, our need increased to the entire world. There was a positive impact as well. We started caring about how others thought of us. Now we have what they call influencers, social influencers, in short people who can create the most fan f...

 As part of the reading group, I started on with a book called Critical Conversation for Dummies. This is a book by Dr Christina Schlacter. It talks about the importance of holding critical or difficult conversations in the workplace and gives a detailed guide on how to nail it.  As I whizzed through the book, I realised it is a reminder of the training I had at the beginning of my career. My 15 plus years of experience in the field have made me sit down for several critical conversations. Performance management, Redundancy, Layoffs, Project deadlines, I  have led all types of conversations, therefore this book was a trip down the memory lane.  However, now when I read it my perspectives have changed. I am a mother first and then a professional which made me realize the importance of having critical conversations beyond the workplace. Thinking of what all places critical conversation hold value- Relationships - with Parents, Children, Partner, and of course extended ...

 When you head on a journey, more often than you often have a destination in mind. or a purpose. A friend recently announced she will be travelling 29 states in order to mobilize volunteers for her cause of working on Genetic Disorders.  Another person updated on Facebook recently about a solo ride they are going to take covering several states.  As part of various travel groups (and ardent travel dreamer), I often seek insights that will enrich my experience whenever I embark on my own journey. So by that definition, I have a lot of borrowed expectations, not just from the journey but also from myself. I know when I set for the journey, I will be prepared or Will I? Let us take a step backwards and start from the beginning!! Preparation Zone - I am set. I know my destination. I know the way and I have my GPS. I have seen photographs and heard experiences of my counterparts who will tell me what it is like to take a similar journey. I am Set. My tick marks are complete....

We are now Self Aware- Know about our emotions, our triggers and are more in tune with our environment. All that is good but what do we do with that information.  Self Awareness generates a lot of information. A few days back there was a message shared in the group which enlisted a couple of cognitive distortions ranging from overgeneralization, catastrophizing, over- personalizing, etc etc. Each of these words had an equally valid explanation to it which explained various patterns of behaviours that we as individuals resort to at different times.  Self Awareness shows us the mirror- it tells us that we have a pattern to our behaviour.  Some common example-  Someone criticizes our work- Our thought process- They don't like US Something conflicting happens at work- We start binge eating. A tiff at the office- Children at home bear the brunt.  No matter how unfortunate the truth is, it is always a pattern. Once we are aware we start to detach incidences with make-...

  Good evening Friends, It is high time I introduce Facilitating Excellence to you. Facilitating Excellence is an organization aimed at bridging the gap between what is and what can be and now we are embarking upon a new journey.  We wish to work with young champions and help them prepare for a path that facilitates their journey How we plan to do that is? We plan to tell a larger world they are supported and also help them find inner support mechanisms.  Why are we doing this? We have all lived a battle of our own and want the upcoming generation to benefit from what we did wrong. The idea is to let them make their own mistakes and not the one's we did. What are we doing? Training, Online Live sessions with Industry Stalwarts and Coaching session, Support groups.  Who is doing it? Facilitating Excellence was founded by me- 4 years back but wasn't able to continue the work then. Now we are re-launching ourselves.  We have on board Senior Co...

When often we struggle to make sense of why the life has been unkind to us, we come us across some people who shine like a beacon of hope giving us confidence, and helping us make believe in ourselves. They ooze confidence, they seem so sure themselves, that every time one bickers, their shining confident self  gives us hope that there is something to look forward to. And the truth about these confident people is, they are faking it atleast some percent of time. I wish I had a concrete survey to suggest what percent of time but I can confidently claim 30% of time. At other times; well they are sure of themselves. So what is the difference between the confident, sure and positive people and those with less confidence and clear unsure behavior. It is this scale. The scale of real versus fake..  the act which the people put up and are able to genuinely believe in that act. It kind of forms a part of our belief system. A belief system is broadly the set of stories and st...

My education and experience of interacting with people and going through various ups and downs of life myself, have taught me one basic thing. People are afraid, scared and definitely happy being so. Everything to life there is, is around conquering fear. I myself have hundreds that I harbor in the name of care, peace, love, self respect, ego, anger, injustice, frustrations, etc. I have no gyan on how to overcome it, because frankly speaking I am yet to tame mine. The thing with fear is that we love to live with it. It is our only friend which will help us be what we are. It helps us, makes us competitive, helps us to achieve the success we aim for, makes us smart, makes us ignorant, I guess it is not any thing else but fear which is the biggest employment industry of all times. Fear future go to a fortune teller, fear past go to a counselor, fear present have cake or bear, Fear is physical, mental, emotional, financial and the best of all kinds spiritual. As a dialogue goes one o...

Someone told me very vehemently few days back.. People don't change Nupur...and I was confused. Why confused because I believe in change. so what exactly stops people from believing in change. I guess what my friend wanted to imply was that their basic nature remains the same. I agree, may be or not. Well having come this far, I see myself in different light. I see people relationships changing, priorities changing, environment changing, circumstances changing. It would be difficult for someone to envisage that a person would remain the same, with so much change. There is bound to be change. Good or bad is all a perception of the one who sees it. But people will change. It is very similar to a rock on the banks of a river. As time goes by, it may weather down, smoothen, sharpen, or even erode completely. We are no different. No matter how much we want to be fixed to an image of ourselves, we will erode, we will weather down, we will smoothen or for that matter sharpen and giv...

 So I understand has been around for a long time. It is a corporate jargon which is very similar to say 'Sorry'. When I first heard the usage of this phrase, I found it slightly ironic. It often used in different ways. Sometimes its used as it is.. for example when someone approaches me or anyone, and relates something that really troubling them and I am stumped. Stumped not because I don't have a response, but because I don't know what is the correct response. So I say, " I understand." Hmm kind of gives it an added flavor in written chat language. Sometimes I understand can also actually mean I really do understand unless it is quintessentially followed by a but, or a for instance or an advice or something even remotely closer to that. You see ' I understand' in today's world is the go to phrase for all situations. A person is grieving someone's or something's loss, I understand; confronted with a difficult situation - I unders...

How difficult we make life for us and also for children! The art of communication is easiest with them and most difficult with adults. Adults don't communicate, they want to be understood. Whereas children communicate. They tell you upfront what they want and how they want it and if you don't interfere much with their way of creativity, the end product is brilliant. As an adult we want to influence the other person without really wanting to make an effort of clarifying on our part what we want. Interestingly all communication issues be in workplace or at home start from there.What I Want? The scenario becomes more challenging when most of the time the answer to question is unclear in our minds as well and surprisingly enough we want the recipient of information to understand, decipher or analyze data. The worst is when I read or hear that children are the best manipulators to put it bluntly and I am thinking to myself, why do we have to give everything a label, why ca...

A relationship is as good as the need for it.. The need for a relationship determines the longevity of it. The question is what determines the need. Well, I don't honestly know. I have had many a fall out in relationships and some very recent, some which I was  very proud of. Proud of having cherished them, maintained them, nurtured them, invested in them and then just like that lost them. Some of them I have lost to time and others to fate and others still to egos. Not sure whose. Relationships like everything I believe have their birth, youth, maturity and death. Birth of a relationship is marked by the time when we meet someone in school, in playground, in college,or  may be just along the way. The films romanticize the meeting making it much more than what it is.

So I happen to ask a young executive. What is it that you want to do in life. Pat came the reply. 'Apna sapna money money.' Wasn't really surprised as this is the call for today. All of us yearn and want to earn. Infact its the easier indicator. Met another young executive, who was wanting to start his entrepreneurial venture with the same sapna. He had all his gears ready and spoke the right words. I was introduced to him to become part of the advisory board. So while I sit there listening to the pitch and the preparation, I am also thinking to myself; is money the real value add that these youth are looking at. Not just from the perspective of value add to the client they would be servicing but also the value add to their own lives. I have always resonated with the statement that Money is a by product. But you have to ensure that you get the service right. Rest everything is paraphernalia. However it is easy to get lost  to think that well since everyone says its mo...