The Changed Times!!

By Nupur Pandey -
 

 Today while sitting with my sister in law, she expressed her concern over the changed times. How her son's friends in the age group 11 to 13 were organizing parties and inviting everyone over. She was even surprised at her own reaction of allowing her son to attend such parties. Let me also tell you these were nothing more than birthday parties. So atypical cake cutting and bit of dance and ho halla was expected. What was even more surprising to her  was that her son chose not to go.

The tables seemed to have turned. Till our generation, it was our parents who were deciding for us and now we have, it seems handed the baton over to the kids; or should I correct myself and call them Young Adults. When does this happen. and how does this transition take place. What are the skills we as parents are giving our children to ensure that they make informed choices? And when do we start giving them.

Seems intriguing to me. There is a truth, a harsh reality. Parenting is nothing but a trial and error play based on the principle of everyone to itself. There might be some generalizations but broadly, its a new fight every time for each parent. However when it comes to generalizations some basics that can and should be drawn are

Let Go. Pass the baton. You have to. and the truth of the matter is that it is more sooner than later, for simple reasons that kids are young adults now. They know much more than what we used to 20 or 30 years back.

Guide Book- Be ready guide book, not instruction but more a reference. Trust me, its easier to get things through instruction but its not long term.

Start Early- Do not wait for children to reach a particular age. Today pre school starts at 2 and half. Children need to know the basics of protections by them and that the foundation of preparing them for the outside world. 'Good Touch Bad Touch' knowledge is one of the key elements of such exercise.

Give Credit- Your child is as afraid and scared as you are of stepping out. Give her/him credit for achieving. Small boosts can go a long way in building up confidence and also help the child to reinforce the sense of decision making.

Thinking things through- Most importantly teach children to think the consequences of their action. Build their self esteem to a level where they are OK with taking decisions that make them uncomfortable but are right.

As a parent are you going to have sleepless nights after having done all this.  Yes.
Will you stop worrying No

But knowing well that the times call for change, and change is coming. Just a few more steps to make a peaceful transition.

Who am I? I am mother of 2, aged 9 and 6. My son has started asking me for opportunities to hand over the baton. I am trying and hoping that this lesson stays.
 

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